India, the largest democracy in the world, today is slowly becoming the worst democracy in the world. The notion of democracy in the country today has got limited to just voting once in five years that is if you still do so. Otherwise the state today is nothing less than dictatorship, dictatorship of the select few politicians or political families who believe that they can do anything and get away with it, who believe that the common man of the country has no right to question them or their actions.
This only becomes more apparent when it comes to the state of women and girls in the country. A lot of lip service, big promises sounding like ranting but at the back of it nothing concrete, no change; it just continues to become worse. Almost every woman in the country today feels unsafe, unprotected barring the few who have the whole security system running around her, twenty-four hours of the day.
There is not much respect for women that one sees either in the behaviour or the thinking of the politicians or ministers today. Recently many of the ministers or ex-ministers have been making statements about women, which are just not sexist but utterly derogatory and humiliating towards women.
Minister for Coal, Sriprakash Jaiswal, in a poetry meet in a women’s college in Kanpur, comparing a victory in cricket with a marriage said, ‘jaise jaise samay beet-taa jata hai patni purani hoti chali jati hai, woh maza nahin rehta hai (with the passage of time, wife does not remain much of a fun)’. One doesn’t need to think what a man like him perceives women as. For him marriage and a game of cricket are one and the same. To make mockery of women and their status in not just your personal life but in the society, only reflects the thinking and belief systems of these political men and their political parties today. The political leaders make such comments because of the belief that it is ok and they can get away with it. The political parties also do not do anything about it till the media highlights it and there is uproar. Therefore, after there was uproar over his sexist remark he was asked to apologize by his party command. He then apologized but in the most unapologetic way. What is important here is that he had to be asked to apologize and then he did it defending his remark by saying it was put out of context by the media. In the whole apology one could not see any form of shame or guilt or any change in the attitude towards women leave alone feeling apologetic about saying something so derogatory.
Few days back BSP MP, Rajpal Singh Saini said, ‘women and girls should not be given mobile phones because it distracts them and only invites trouble’. Then he went on to add, ‘my mother, wife, sister and daughter have never had a mobile phone and they are fine. When they have something ‘important’ to talk about they ask for the phone and I give it’. One can clearly see that who decides what is ‘important’ here. Obviously the women have to first explain what is ‘important’ that they need to talk about and to whom and then if only he deems it important enough can they use the phone. So in the process the basic right of a woman to have free communication and the right to decision making is curbed and controlled by the men in the family. These politicians then carry over these attitudes and beliefs to the public where they advise the public on what the status of women should be in the homes and in the society.
Recently in the wake of seventeen cases of rapes reported in a month in Haryana out of which a large number of victims were dalit girls, the Congress spokesperson in Haryana, Dharam Veer Goyat said, ‘in ninety percent of rape cases the girls accompany the accused of their own free will’. Which then makes ninety percent of rapes not rapes but consensual sex. If a girl accompanies a boy does it mean that she is giving him the right to rape her?
Accompanying someone and getting raped are two entirely different things. By making such a statement he is trying to put the onus on the girls for getting raped. This is victim blaming and is used by perpetrators to gain control over their victims and not feel responsible for the act of crime that they commit. Such statements by political leaders made in public clearly shows their and their party’s beliefs and perceptions about women and how women are responsible for the crimes committed against them. Which further leads to victim blaming by the society and the law itself as then these girls have to prove harder that they were not responsible for the rape committed on them by the perpetrators. Many of the victims give up fighting their cases in courts because they find it extremely painful and humiliating to go on proving their innocence when in reality it should be the perpetrator trying to prove his innocence.
The ex-Chief Minister of Haryana, Om Prakash Chautala went over the wall in giving a solution to the most heinous crime known to mankind. He said, ‘in mughal times to save their daughters from the mughal emperors and their atrocities, people used to marry off their daughters at a very young age. Therefore, he agrees with the khap panchayats of today that the girls should be married off at an early age and therefore the legal marriageable age of girls should be brought down’. Does he mean that married women do not get raped? Or that by marrying girls at an early age does not amount to child rape? Will it really stop the crime or does it mean that to curb a crime it is ok to commit another crime? Again after uproar over his stance towards the khap panchayats, he retracted the statement saying it is their suggestion and not his point of view.
Why would you make statements like that in the first place if they were not your points of view? Obviously for political gains even if it means to derogate or humiliate women, it is ok. The basic belief that women are to be blamed and curbed for all the wrongs committed against them comes out very strongly and clearly in politicians such as them and their political parties as well. If the political parties and there leaderships had strong and clear commitments towards respecting women and women having equal status in the constitution and the society, then such deplorable incidents would not take place. If the politicians knew that they cannot get away from their misdeeds just by simple apologies and retracting their statements, which actually mean nothing, and that they would have to face strong action against them for making such a mockery of the women and their status, then they would more careful.
Haryana being a highly patriarchal society one is not surprised by such comments but its very painful for the victims and their families when they have to go through all the blames for getting raped as if they asked for it. But its just not Haryana rather everywhere in the country whenever a man rapes a girl or violates any woman, she is blamed for it. It’s the mind set of the society at large that believes in blaming victims for the crimes committed against them as it then reduces the sense of responsibility and the guilt on part of the perpetrators and the society at large. Such attitudes bring in more apathy and inaction towards victims in the society and the law itself as the people forming and maintaining the law also come from the same society and carry on with such beliefs.
Congress party president, Sonia Gandhi made a visit to the family of a victim, a dalit girl who committed suicide by immolating herself after she was gang raped, commented, ‘this is a barbaric act and strict action should be taken’. When asked about the inaction of the Haryana Govt. on the incident said that ‘rapes are reported from across the country and not Haryana alone’. Comments like this only add further to the apathy and the inaction towards curbing crime. Is it enough to visit victims, because there is uproar, and say it is wrong and should not happen and strict action should be taken. What about actually taking stringent actions and making sure that the perpetrators are punished and not able to get away easily. Why is law not enforced to its full capacity to protect the girls and every citizen of the country? It only shows that as long as there is apathy and lack of respect for law and only blame and counter blame and no responsibility, nothing much is going to change in the system and women will continue to get degraded and humiliated.
About the author: Dr. Nidhi Mitra is a clinical psychologist, with an impressive background spanning more than a decade, working with women, children and victims of crimes. Dr. Nidhi has worked with displaced families and survivors of communal violence in India. Dr. Nidhi is now based in Hong Kong and for the moment volunteering at the AHRC. Dr. Nidhi could be reached at nidhimitra70@gmail.com
